Superheroes on the Oscars Red Carpet Part Two

Part one featured actors who have played superheroes in film. For part two I bring you actors who should totally play superheroes in film.

Saoirse and Cate were in one of my favourite Not Black Widow But Totally Black Widow films, Hanna, (see also Salt, Lucy). Rooney was the titular Girl With a Dragon Tattoo. If the three of them co-starred with Scarlett Johansson in a Black Widow: Red Room film directed by Angelina Jolie it would combine all of the above. Rooney as one of Natasha’s classmates, Cate as their instructor, Saoirse as the new star student. Market it as a Russian Spy Ballet Drama released in December and with this cast you might even get to the Academy Awards.

Speaking of Marvel movies, we still don’t know who will play Captain Marvel. Emily Blunt was blonde for a while last year and I was really hoping it was a secret message to me of the “I’m a spoiler casting for Civil War” variety (still hoping tbqh). Now she’s brunette again, and also pregnant, which just reignites my desire for her to play Jessica Drew. In which case the second image could be Jess and Carol and Yes Please? Emily has demonstrated her ability to play an action hero and a complicated woman and she’s been in line to play a super for years so let’s get on that, Hollywood, mm’kay?

Continuing the theme, Diane Kruger has been one of my picks for Carol Danvers almost as long as Naomi Watts. Brie Larson is an Oscar-winning former Disney Channel star and if that doesn’t say “cast me in your marquee superheroine film” to Marvel I don’t know what would. But there is actually no reason for Carol to be as white and blonde as she is in the comics so why not Priyanka Chopra, star of my favourite current TV series about heroic government agents who have a lot of feelings about both the government and each other, positive and negative and to be determined (which is…the summary of a Captain Marvel movie amiright)? That’s a trick question, there is no reason why not.

Speaking of diversity,

Abraham Attah portrayed a child soldier in Beasts of No Nation and wore TOMS to the Oscars so the company donated 10,000 shoes in his name. Clearly superhero material. Forrest Goodluck portrayed Leo’s son in The Revenant which is just marquee enough for a first role that we should give him attention and you know what this world desperately needs? A Native American superhero on film. Hire these adorable children immediately.

Orlando and Mindy are a) proven talent with built in fans and b) dressed in clothes that say “I wanna be in a comic book movie”.

Finally, honestly, I’m still mad that Dev Patel is not playing Peter Parker in Captain America: Civil War. And then when this happened:


I immediately wanted him to be in Star Wars. Avenger or Jedi I’m not picky but #MakeDevPatelaDisneyHero2k16

He could play Young Han Solo. I would believe it.

tldr; give Black Widow a movie already, cast Captain Marvel already, and #HollywoodSoWhite FIX IT. 

This message brought to you by the future.

This message brought to you by the future.