In Q & A, a weekly feature of Fantastic Fangirls, we ask our staff to tackle a simple question — then open the floor to comments.
What Hogwarts House would one of your favorite characters join?
In case you need a refresher, here’s the original Sorting Song (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone):
You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you’ve a steady mind,
Where those of wit and learning will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends.
In Harry Potter fandom I’m a big fan of the House of Black so I’ve chosen to sort the House of Magnus. Magneto is a pure and true Slytherin: idealistic, ambitious, ruthless. His sense of superiority and entitlement shines through, shaping every decision. The Scarlet Witch is a Gryffindor. She is quietly courageous, passionate, fierce. She breaks the rules and she embodies the word: Avenger. Her brother has both Magneto’s Slytherin and Wanda’s Gryffindor traits within him, but he is a Hufflepuff. Quicksilver is an unsung hero (or villain), always standing in the shadow of his infamous relatives. He is pompous and he is bitter but he is always loyal to and supportive of his sister — and as he would tell you, he is incredibly patient. Everything around him is so slow, he has to be!
I’ve often said Polaris, with her green hair and her name-from-a-star, should marry into the Slytherin-heavy House of Black and she is closest in manner to her father. But she is an intellectual and a dreamer; she lives in her own little world she made up in her head. Not literally, the way her sister sometimes does, but the way that makes her much closer to Luna Lovegood than Pansy Parkinson: “Oh, yes,” said Luna, “I’ve been able to see them ever since my first day here. They’ve always pulled the carriages. Don’t worry. You’re just as sane as I am.” (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) — Ravenclaw.
Jean Grey is obviously a Gryffindor. I mean, with that hair, she might even be a Weasley.
This makes me wish there were more examples in Harry Potter of what happens when Gryffindors go bad. . .
I’ve always liked the fandom idea of house combinations. Sometimes, the four-house system is just too restrictive, because certain people make the most sense as a combination of two sets of house traits. And two of the best examples of those combinations are two of the earliest and most prominent Avengers: Captain America and Iron Man.
Steve Rogers, Captain America, is what you’d call a Gryffinpuff. Like a Gryffindor, he’s a brave, courageous leader, willing to sacrifice anything to save the day and protect others, deeply principled but willing to defy authority when his conscience calls for it. But he would be nothing without his loyalty, his humility, his dedication to working hard to make the world a fair place for everyone who lives in it. He’s as much a Hufflepuff as he is a Gryffindor, and it’s only through the combination of those two sides that he becomes the strong character he is.
Tony Stark, on the other hand, is exactly the opposite — a Slytherclaw. He’s full of ambition and hubris, the child of old money, willing to do whatever is necessary to get the job done, no matter how questionable. He thinks the ends justify the means, most of the time, and while he’s far from evil, he’s not afraid to use cunning and manipulation in the name of justice. He’s quite a Slytherin. Yet he would be nothing without his genius, the intelligence that made him a college graduate at 16 and led him to design the most sophisticated technology the world has ever known. He’d happily spend days on end locked in his lab, solving a problem with all his wit and creativity, and his joy at his creations is unmatched. That’s far too much Ravenclaw to deny.
And now I’ve successfully explained Civil War via Hogwarts houses.
I’m going to skip the X-Men, because that would end up being a) too long and b) fanfic. Not that I’m against fanfic, but rather that I have hopes of getting hired to write comics one of these days, in which case my X-Men-in-Hogwarts story would be a licensed AU.. Anyway. Skipping the X-Men. Let’s move on to my second favorite bunch of characters, the women of Gotham.
Barbara Gordon — Slytherin
Kate Kane — Gryffindor
Helena Bertinelli — Gryffindor
Leslie Thompkins — Ravenclaw
Renee Montoya — Hufflepuff
Cassandra Cain — Hufflepuff
Stephanie Brown — Gryffindor
Harleen Quinzel — Hufflepuff
Pamela Isley — Ravenclaw
So What about you? What Hogwarts House would one of your favorite characters join?