In Q & A, a weekly feature of Fantastic Fangirls, we ask our staff to tackle a simple question — then open the floor to comments:
What product would a favorite comic book character endorse?
I found myself staring at a cosmetics wall the other day. I needed a new concealer and I finally decided on True Match by L’Oréal Paris because Project Runway and Diane Kruger endorse L’Oréal (plus, they have the best tag line). And that’s where this question came from. And therefore I submit the following:
Abbey Chase for Maybelline: I’m not a big fan of the Maybelline slogan — It’s not you, it’s our awesome make-up! — but Danger Girl can pull it off. She’s trained, not super-powered, but she was also born with that something something, yannowhattamean?
Kara Zor-El for Cover Girl: Supergirl is totally the Cover Girl of DC and there is no one I can think of who better embodies easy, breezy, beautiful. Plus she would fit in great at America’s Next Top Model.
Carol Danvers for L’Oréal: Yes, Carol Danvers would absolutely endorse cosmetics. At first she would worry about it going against her message of empowerment, but her publicist would explain how great it would be for her image and how it would give her the opportunity to reach more young girls with her empowerment message. And she’d decide it was worth it (since she secretly wanted to do it all along).
These days, the mysterious child called Hope is a formidable teenage telekinetic, and the wannabe mutant Messiah at the center of the X-Men’s Second Coming crossover. But she didn’t start out that way. Cable, the cybernetic super-solider who rescued Hope and took her into the future, learned the realities of post-apocalyptic parenting the hard way. One thing he learned the value of is a really good baby-carrier:
I don’t know exactly what equipment Cable is using there, but once he and Hope have this whole saving-the-mutant race thing under control, I fully expect a series of daddy-daughter testimonials. If it was good enough for this baby, it’s definitely good enough for yours.
Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back to your man. Now back to me.
Sadly, he isn’t me. But if he stopped using lady-scented body shampoo and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me.
Look down. Back up. Where are you? You’re on a Quinjet, with the man your man could smell like.
What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It’s an Erlenmeyer flask filled with snippets of poetry crafted in your honor.
Look again. The poetry is now the cure for cancer.
Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice Body Shampoo and not a lady.
I’m on a horse.
My name is Laura Kinney and I wear the 5.11 Tactical ATAC Shield Boot. The ATAC Shield Boot has a safety toe and shank of non-metallic composite, so your feet can’t be grabbed by Magneto. The safety features add extra weight to all kicking attacks for extra damage. The lining is is antibacterial, and bloodborn pathogen resistant, to aid in your body’s natural defenses against assaults from Plague, Apocalypse, and others like them. The lining has a hidden pocket suitable for lockpicks, knives, or other small tactical items. The soles are oil- and slip-resistant with an integrated shock absorption system. This is useful in jumping off of high places during combat. In addition, the ATAC Shield Boot comes in a variety of sizes, fitting most human-norm feet.
My name is Laura Kinney, and I recommend the 5.11 Tactical ATAC Shield Boot.
So what about you? What product would a favorite comic book character endorse?